I'm new and I hit someone way too hard. How do I stop getting too close and hurting people?

Extend your arm before you move your feet, and take smaller steps. That one habit fixes most painful hits from new fencers. Hard hits usually come from closing the distance first and then punching the arm forward at the last moment, so all your body weight and arm speed land on the point. If the arm is already straight as you arrive, the blade bends and soaks up most of the force, even if you end up closer than you meant to. You are not a bad person or a dangerous fencer. This is one of the most common beginner problems, and it is very fixable.

An extension is not a punch. Think of reaching to touch something with the tip rather than stabbing through it. Let your lunge, or your opponent walking into your point, supply the forward motion. Also match the action to the distance. If you can reach the target by simply straightening your arm, a full lunge will crash into them. If they are advancing toward you, your lunge will land shorter than usual, so extend or step back instead. Getting close is not always wrong, because close-quarters fencing is a real skill, but it comes later, once your point control is solid.

Distance is learned by repetition, not by thinking harder mid-bout. Ask your coach for partner mirror drills, where one fencer leads and the other keeps a constant gap. Practice lunging at a wall target or pad from different distances until you can feel which range needs a straight arm, a lunge, or a step-lunge. A rough in-bout check: if your point could tap their guard, you are already in range for a simple extension. Ask your coach to watch your attacks specifically for a pulled-back arm.

If you do hurt someone, stop, check on them, apologize sincerely, and tell the coach. Next session, find that person and ask how they are feeling. They will appreciate it. Remember that distance belongs to both fencers, and keeping practice safe for brand-new fencers is ultimately the coach's job. Then go back to class, fence slowly and correctly, and let the control build. Most new fencers stop hitting hard within a few months.