My child was crying during sparring because it hurt and he felt overwhelmed, and the coach told him to keep going. What should I do?
Stay calm, find out what actually happened, and talk to the coach after class rather than mid-bout. Some discomfort is a normal part of fencing, but real pain, a possible injury or a meltdown that keeps building is not something a child should be made to push through. Beginner bouts genuinely hurt more than later ones. New fencers misjudge distance, stand too close, swing wildly and cannot parry yet, so hits land flat and hard. That improves within weeks to months as both kids learn distance and defence, and the bruises fade with it.
Normal discomfort looks like a sting that fades within a minute, a child who recovers and wants to go back in, and fear of the next hit that is bigger than the hit itself. Worry when pain lingers or gets worse, when a hit lands somewhere unprotected, when the same partner hurts him every time, or when he shuts down, covers his ears or stops responding. For autistic, ADHD or sensory-sensitive kids, the closed-in mask, the beeping scoring box and a noisy hall can stack up until a small poke feels huge. Once a child is overloaded, pushing on rarely builds toughness. A few quiet minutes, water, then back in usually works far better.
When you talk to the coach, keep it private and problem-solving. If the club does not know about a diagnosis, tell them, because a coach who knows can plan around it. Easy, reasonable requests: an agreed signal for a short break, gentler partners when practical, extra distance and parry work, and a hard chest protector. Remember the coach may not see tears behind a mask. Also ask your child, once calm, what he wants. Some kids hate being pulled out because it feels like punishment, and many who cried still love the sport.
A child always has the right to stop and say he is hurt, and a good coach wants to hear it. Resilience comes from choosing to go back, not from being forced to continue while in pain. The U.S. Center for SafeSport lists making an athlete keep training on a noticeable injury as an example of physical misconduct, and you can report concerns to it. If a coach dismisses you, belittles your child or punishes breaks, that is a sign to find a different club. Sharp or persistent pain means a doctor or physical therapist, not more sparring.